No Blogging Fever Here

Well, I logged on to update everyone on the progress of the adoption and realized...I don't blog!   Yikes! November 9th was my last post!!  Well I warned you all, I don't blog.   I will, however, try to not wait three months before my next one.  Updating you on all the events leading up to this post will be short.  We had a series of situations in which we would accumulate almost all the money we needed to make the first payment for our home study, then sudden destruction would come upon us and we would need the money for something else.  Our car seemed to be the victim most often.  However we serve a BIG God.  This month we made our first payment and we began our home study process.  For those who are not familiar with the process, an agency social worker meets with you in your home several times.  They evaluate your family history, marriage, children and how it all works together.  Pretty easy, pretty straight forward.  This is the point we are in today.  Evaluating.

Last night Joe and I were filling out a questionnaire regarding what special needs, in our child, we would be willing to accept.  There where many questions.  The needs ranged from a lazy eye to Hepatitis C.  This was when this became very real.  This is when we had to truly be honest with ourselves.  There would be no "faking" your purity here.  This is a Christian's gut check moment.  Do you really have what it takes to follow Me?  I mean really follow Him.  Not just nodding of your head when the pastor says something that convicts you or that you think should convict someone else.  Not when you are worshiping to a song that truly does make long for the Lord.  I mean the "gut check" moment when you know you have to do something you CAN'T do.  As Joe read the list of diseases and malformations to me, my true nature became sickeningly clear to me.  Paul speaks of his in Romans 7:18-19.

                                        And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want  to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but I don’t.  I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 

Wow!  Is that me!  So there I sat feeling like my answer should be YES to everything.  But, desperately wanting to say NO NO NO to every single one.  So there I sat, with no "good" answer for anything. So what now?  Well, I serve an amazing God who sees me for what I really am.  Not what I desire to be, not what I want people to believe that I am.  No, He sees the real me.  The ugly me.  The part of me that has nothing good.  So what does he "do" with that part of me?  He gave this passage in scripture to meditate on.  

Isaiah 6 

 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. ² Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. ³ And one cried to another and said:

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
The whole earth is full of His glory!”

⁴ And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.

⁵ So I said:

“Woe is me, for I am undone!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King,
The Lord of hosts.”

⁶ Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. ⁷ And he touched my mouth with it, and said:

“Behold, this has touched your lips;
Your iniquity is taken away,
And your sin purged.”

⁸ Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:

“Whom shall I send,
And who will go for Us?”

Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

Did you read that!  The passage starts out with the Glory of the Lord.  So majestic that the Seraphin use their wings to cover their eyes so that they do not look on the face of God.  And what was Isaiah's response to God's glory?  Much like the one I had last night.  One that we all should have when faced with the true calling to be like Christ. The response Isaiah had, "Woe is me, for I am undone!  Because I am a man of unclean lips,  And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;  For my eyes have seen the King,
The Lord of hosts.".  That simple questionnaire caused me realize that in the light of what God has called me to be, "I am undone".  I have nothing good to give.  I think my favorite part of the passage above is what Isaiah does with this realization.  He doesn't flee.  He doesn't get angry when faced with his own unrighteousness.  He realizes it!  What does God do with that?  He cleanses him through fire.  Yes through fire.  Not through a hug or an "I believe in you" pep talk.  No, through fire.  He burns his lips with coal.  He purifies the sin of his mouth through the coals of the alter.  That is when I realized.  I have been purified.  I have been touched by the coal of that fire.  That alter represents Jesus.  He was the sacrifice that cleansed me of all that junk I felt when Joe was reading me those diseases.  So, what is my response when the Lord says to me through an adoption questionnaire, “Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?”?  It is simply, “Here am I! Send me.” 

God sends chain mail????

  Well we are plugging away with the adoption and moving forward.  We have walked through a few doors that God has opened.  With God’s timing and direction we will be the “pilot family” for Lifeline Children's Services’ new Colombia Program.  This is a wonderful ministry and we are honored to be their first family in this program.  God is continuing to bless us!  A few weeks ago, Lifeline informed us that because we are willing to be the pilot family for this program, they wanted to award us with a $2500 grant towards our agency fees.  This was a huge blessing, obviously.  Well as everyone told us it would be, this great news was followed by the worst week!  Which included, but was not limited to, Julia splitting her lip when her train car came unhitched at the pumpkin patch and rammed into a tree, our car exploding and my personal favorite…..Jacob lying to the administrator of Homelink and almost having his first suspension in Kindergarten!!!   So, I guess we have our first battle scars for this process.  They were biggies. 

So the chain mail….. last night while updating myself on Facebook, I was included in a chain mail message that read like this:

         Ok Ladies, Young and “mature”… it’s that time again…Breast Cancer Awareness!
DO NOT TELL ANY MAN WHAT YOUR STATUS MEANS!
Copy and paste this message and forward it to all of your friends. Let’s see if we can spark things up as on previous occasions.
The idea will work around month and date of birth.
First, select your month of birth from the list below. Then write: I am going to live in (Blank A) for (Blank months.
If your birthday is October 21, you will write…”I am going to live in Amsterdam for 21 months!”☺
Thanks for joining us and confusing men more! Remember to copy this message and send it via PM to lots more women!!

January Chile
February London
March Miami
April Dominican Republic
May France
June St. Petersburg
July Austria
August Germany
September Holland
October Amsterdam
November Las Vegas
December Colombia

So if anyone is wondering….. “I am going to live in Colombia for 1 month!”  

O.k. so really,  do I have time for this? Blogging!  No, I don’t.  Between being wife, mommy, teacher and the occasional friend, my life is pretty booked up.  But, I know that if I don’t do this I will forget our story.  You will forget our story. Most of you know the long version.  If you don’t, ask.  I would be happy to send you the “book” or letter Joe wrote to our family and friends on how the Lord led us to adopt.  It is worth the read.  Or I can simply indulge you with the short  version.

The Lord has asked us to adopt from Columbia.  The child will be a “special needs” child.  Whatever “special needs” is.  Certainly I am special needs, just ask my husband.  But, in Columbia, if you have three or more children in your home already, you are only allowed to adopt a child over five, or a special needs child.  Since we already have a five year old, we are opting for special needs.

This will be a journey with the Lord for us.  We have no idea where we will end up.   Our desire is to write the events of this journey down so we do not forget the lessons, but more importantly, the miracles.  We will need some.

Adopting a child, without special needs is challenging.  Adopting with special needs will be stretching me. Finding out how to pay for this adoption will stretch Joe.  So here we go.  We will keep you updated on how the lord will lead us through this.  We depend completely on him to navigate this.

Psalms 27:10-14

10 When my father and my mother forsake me,

Then the LORD will take care of me.

11 Teach me Your way, O LORD,

And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.

¹² Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;

For false witnesses have risen against me,

And such as breathe out violence.

¹³ I would have lost heart, unless I had believed

That I would see the goodness of the LORD

In the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait on the LORD;

Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart;

Wait, I say, on the LORD!